can you even believe that the avg household doesn’t have $10,000 in savings? i can’t. apparently, the “goal” is 6 months worth in liquid (cash). what the heck?! how will the children survive?
there’s this super funny meme out there from a tweeting hippo with dialogue:
A: how was work?
“socrates”: i asked a lot of questions.
A: plz get a real job. the kids are starving.
B: i’d rather die.
SO FUNNY, but like.. life is no joke. &like bana says, “there is half truth in jokes.”
we’re all taught to “follow our dreams” &yet only a few of us turn out to be a Steph Curry or “Socrates.” what kind of paycheck are you looking to bring home with that major?
why DO we spend all our earnings? we think it won’t run out? we spend like our government? &it’s just something we don’t talk about.
it’s the “secret shame of middle class americans.”
71% of people are concerned about having enough money to cover everyday expenses
25 % of people could not “come up with” $2000 in 30 days.. &19% would have to borrow
1/4 of households making $100k to $150k/year claim they couldn’t get $2k a month.
credit card debt per household in 2015: $6k
47% of people would have to take out loan to cover $400 emergency expense
while banks may “push credit,” “people nonetheless chose to run up debt/save too little”
“if you want to have financial security, it is 100 % on you”
“we all make those sorts of choices, and they obviously affect, even determine, our bottom line. but without getting too metaphysical about it, these are the choices that define who we are.”
the frivolous expenditures; all the luxurious conveniences we have at our disposal. this is what capitalism affords us. So many options. Too many options? You see how much freedom actually costs you when you make the wrong decisions for your life. in the movie “the giver,” the fascist in charge is played by Meryl streep who defends her reign over the masses by saying, “people choose wrong every single time.” so, do you want to make your own choices &face consequences or have your decisions made for you (because you lack the self-control)? catch-22, huh?
when i told penelope a financial goal of mine, she looked to the Dunkin Donuts coffee on my desk &said “don’t buy this anymore.” BOOM (truth bomb explodes). “It adds up.”
this kid i know of, he’s always “broke,” & yet he can afford a $180 “life of pablo” tee. thrift; it’s an antiquated concept in our narcissistic culture. the “shame” felt is cause deep down, we know our desires get 1st dibs. hungry? food. thirsty? drink. tired? coffee. the supply meets my demand 24/7 (hi @711). we are not taught self-control. how dare u tell me no?
before the article goes into the writer’s poor money choices, it hints at this idea of the money just disappearing. like his income is so low, he can’t afford his expenses.
(&i want to cite this article about how “the average american is richer than john d rockefeller” without going too far into this idea of wages diminishing. if you consider the longer life span, or air conditioning on a train, or 1 day travel &1 day shipping…or THE COMPUTER CALLED MY PHONE THAT FITS IN MY HAND.. we are all more rich than he!)
dave ramsey HATES DEBT &describes the person who spends before he has as the kid in the checkout line at the grocery store screaming bc Ma won’t let him have the candy.
choices writer made (who is 1 of the 47% who can’t afford $400 emergency expense):
married with 2 children
buys a place in brooklyn
private > public high school for children
moved to east hampton to rent house
doesn’t/couldn’t sell co-op in bk (carries 2 mortgages for years)
wife quits job to stay with kids
finally sells bk apt for “steep loss” (“wanted to cover (at least) what owed the bank”)
wife out of work for so long, she is no longer skilled enough as film exec
kids must go to “brand name” universities
“basically, i screwed up, royally”
“and so the hole was dug. and it was deep. and we may never claw our way out of it”
NO WONDER EVERYONE is SO dang TIRED ALL dang day. HOW DO U SLEEP?
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart” e.e cummings
there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but i'm too tough for him.
i say, "stay in there! i'm not going to let anybody see you."
there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but i pour whiskey on him &inhale cigarette smoke.
&the whores &the bartenders &the grocery clerks never know that he's in there.
there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but i'm too tough for him.
I say, "stay down! do you want to mess me up? you want to screw up the works? you want to blow my book sales in europe?"
there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but i'm too clever. i only let him out @ night sometimes when everybody's asleep. i say, "i know you're there, so don't be sad." then, i put him back.
but he's singing a little in there. i haven't quite let him die
&we sleep together like that, with our secret pact.
&it's nice enough to make a man weep.
but, i don't weep.
working for a global corporation is oh-so-lovely. people from all over the world come to work on a visa, hoping their 3 year assignment turns permanent. “Welcome,” i sing. &I always ask if it's their first time. "have you been to new york city?"
i work with 2 albanians too, &i probe until they purge, all about history. when Hoxha brought communism to the country, the gov ceased A’s family’s property. that’s when her uncle, already in America brought the rest of the family here. A was 21 when she got here &i love to hear the story of how she was “walking in the streets" &saw a dollar bill on the ground. she thought, “there really is money falling from the trees here.”
jon gabriel blogged a post on “the most pleasant surprise immigrants found in america.” in the midst of stoicism, 'tis a nice humbling &inspiring read; a synopsis of a Reddit questionnaire.
“road directions to go from a city to another 2,000 miles away is extremely simple (I-90)
“not having to haggle prices” (rule of law)
“not having to know who to talk to to get any little bit of paperwork filed in time” (dmv appreciation?)
“seemingly endless rows of food &all the apples” (ubiquitous wealth)
“real fresh air”
“it amazes me that this country is so rich, that there’s enough for everybody, even for a normal guy like me. i feel as if i’m the luckiest guy in the world since i always dreamed about living in the us. you guys have no idea how lucky you are to be born in the us.”
“as much hot water as i want”
“choosing your own shower temperature”
“everyone is so polite &good manners are everywhere”
“the boundless energy that freedom gives you. you all try to do so much, it’s astounding”
“i appreciate reliable: electric heat, &indoor plumbing. everything else is just candy sprinkles on the sundae”
“ability to flip on a switch &have light come on, everyday, all day.. uninterrupted electricity”
“you have stores for your dogs”
“the best thing my parents ever did for me was emigrate to the us.. not everyone has the guts to leave everything behind."
“if you have a u.s passport, you can go anywhere” (A).
you don’t know what you got till it’s gone. APPRECIATE: recognize full worth of.
sylvester &i switched ben carson books. his had the doc’s autograph inside. oo lala!
dedicated to the indispensables of the world, THINK BIG had me thinking of Rose from Rite-Aid. she’s a trump supporter (like carson), but she’s always working so darn hard!
not my book, so i couldn’t mark it up. here are quotes i wrote on a Styrofoam container:
i’m gonna stay at you until you know how good you are - teacher of ben’s
knew that i was especially capable
a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops -henry brooke adams
1st mentor of my life -someone who challenged me to do my very best everyday
except for my mom, nobody i knew was more interested in me than in their own advancement
where david got his spunk i don’t know, but he did not quit
refused to give way to feelings
i’ll do everything i want to do
buoyed by confidence
angry &committed enough to change conditions
be nice to all people. everybody is important
wearing all that weight of learning lightly like a flower -Tennyson
to be of use in the world is the only way to happiness - hans c. andersen
as he thinketh in his heart, so is he - proverbs 23:7
it is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds. in the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most precious thoughts and pour their souls into ours. God be thanked for books. they are the voices of the distinct and the dead &make us heirs of the spiritual life of past ages. book are true levelers. they give to all who will faithfully use them , the society, the spiritual presence, of the best and greatest of our race -william ellery channing
the world of books is the most remarkable creation of man; nothing else that he builds ever lasts. monuments fall; nations perish; civilizations grow old &die out. after an era of darkness, new races build others; but in the world of books are volumes that live on still as young &fresh as the day they were written, still telling men’s hearts of the hearts of men centuries dead -clarence day
knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 1 Corinthians 8:1
the mind, once stretched by an idea, never returns to its original dimensions. -emerson
God don’t make no junk.
no one can make us feel inferior without our permission. -eleanor roosevelt
every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting- a. huxley
"the mind is everything. what you think you become"
just some things ro consider..
Sometimes emails from head honchos at work contain something interesting, like this PDF by Chris Voss, an adjunct (part-time) prof at Georgetown/USC's Business School, who is also a retired FBI agent. He spent 24 years getting the bad guys to reveal the truth; with no threats or bribes; simply skilled in emotional intelligence. What a joke the FBI has become under the Fuhrer's rule (Holder, Emanuel, Clinton), but I digress.. Life is negotiation, indeed.
A saleswoman is not good at her job if she does not think about the client. She is a product pusher, not an advisor. She seeks transactional business where she adds to the sales report sure, but never does she ever establish rapports with "repeat shoppers."
All the client is really thinking about is, "What's in it for me?" Start here. What triggers her? What does she need? How is her day going? "Don't treat someone the way you want to be treated - treat them the way they need to be treated based on what is driving them" (Voss 3). "While the Ivy League taught math &economics, we became experts in empathy" (2).
Manipulative, you ask? Quite the contrary. Ethical behavior is a given. "Come to embrace the reality that you are not rational" (2). Work smart, not hard.
Besides the free education in finance I receive at my job, I learn so much more about PEOPLE &how to work well with them. Take my operations micro-manager. They don't call her "Sergeant" for nothing. Albeit hard to work with, no one can deny what she brings to a table. But, this free bird just couldn't get along &it was wrecking my work week. L.B kept reminding me, "You're not gonna change the stripes on that cat, Bam Bam." I had to change my approach.
It took a "coinciding" (God-timing) accounting course for me to understand just how particular her role requires her to remain. But, I was empathizing. &don't you know it, she comes to me with questions now! Just the other day I heard her say, "I'm trying to chill." (Whoa). This is how you work with people. They are not a means to your success, but, success itself. When my close competitor asked me what the "secret to my success" was, I didn't flinch: "my team." With 1 goal in mind (the team), there's no stopping us.
When L.B tells me I'm doing a good job, I tell him straight up, "Thanks for the positive reinforcement. That motivates me." (1st dysfunction of a team is lack of trust. If you can't be vulnerable with your teammates, you won't argue well or commit, or be willing to be accountable to each other, etc).
"the best negotiator simply recognizes the human psyche as it is. we are emotional, irrational beasts who are emotional &irrational in predictable, pattern-filled ways. using that knowledge is only, well... rational" (11).
(when you feel someone tugging on your heart strings, be easy. negotiation gone awry.. Obama knows these "field-tested empathy tactics" well. It's why he politicizes every tragedy; cries &blinks &pauses until he evokes emotion from audience. It's why he says things like, "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." He wants to get his way, Alinsky style).
"who has control in a conversation, the guy listening or the guy talking? the listener, of course. that's because the talker is revealing information while the listener, if trained well, is directing the conversation toward his own goals" (12).
(who doesn't like to talk about themselves? hence, social media. get them to talk, see how else you can help; in what future financial endeavors).
"when the pressure is on, you don't rise to the occasion, you fall to your highest level of preparation"
(lessons in getting someone to talk.. why my boss encourages "cold calling".. how can i "lose" a warm phone call if i'm used to cold ones?)
"you don't need to like it; you just need to understand that's how the world works" (16).
from my archives..some negotiation principles..
don't ask them, tell them.
tough is not nasty; firm is not rude.
they only listen to use it against you.
there is no room for ego in negotiation.
the higher you start, the higher you finish.
generosity in negotiation is not contagious.
a confident statement sounds as good as a fact.
if you don't ask, you don't get. if you don't ask, you don't want.
perception is all there is. it's not what you say; it's what they hear.
when anxiety goes up, brain switches off. negotiation is 90% preparation.
negotiation is all about emotion. there is no place for emotion in negotiation.
"to be useful, be wise" (quote from sis's edu).. go out there &negotiate some deals!
i am no bird; &no net ensnares me. -charlotte bronte
"never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -in nothing, great or small, large or petty -never give in except to convictions of honor &good sense." -w. churchill. 10/28/41
the man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. m.t
i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning how to sail my ship. -louisa may alcott
nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. persistence &determination alone are omnipotent.
i am not an extraordinary man, &i am quite ordinary. but God chose me for something quite extraordinary. -a. valladares receives '16 canterbury medal.
not failure, but low aim, is crime -james russell lowell
a genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus -mlk jr.
i don't lose any sleep at night over the potential for failure. i cannot even spell the word. -"mad dog mattis"
soft minded men always fear change -mlk jr.
it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust &sweat &blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again &again because there is no effort without error &shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worth cause; who at the best knows in the end the trump of high achievement, &who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold &timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -theodore roosevelt
be kind, but be fierce.-churchill
i cannot pretend to feel impartial.. -winston c.
"oh, shut up silly woman," said the reptile with a grin, "you knew damn well i was a snake before you let me in."
-johnny rivers, the snake
we are what we repeatedly do. excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -aristotle
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -eleanor roosevelt
i have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears &sweat. -winston churchill, 1940
i keep my ideals, because in spite of everything i still believe that people are really good at heart. -anne frank
the most courageous act is still to think for yourself. aloud. -coco chanel
always be smarter than the people who hire you. -lena horne
art is the signature of man.
a dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.
if you do not rise to the head not only of your profession, but of your country, it will be owing to your own laziness, slovenliness &obstinacy.
-john adams to his son, john quincy adams 4/23/1794