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tale as old as time : obsessed w defining your eternal soul lol
RUN. "up the road," I say. that is all I tell her bc that is all I know.. in her eyes there is sadness that makes me mad (beta !) when I see it.. I know what she is going to say next, &I turn away as she does.. the mad feeling gets worse.. above me, the clouds look like blankets, dark &light, a big unmade bed.. 1 look &I know they have been drinking all night.. (telepathy :the human experience).. *talking of the dog now* he will stop &sniff around a tree or pole.. at first, as I run.. &now I find the smooth part.. my feet under me go faster; the air hits harder, cleaning me, crashing away the sound behind me. because it is Sunday morning, there is no one around &no cars in sight. the lake on my right doesn't sparkle the way it does when the sun is out, but it doesn't matter. I am filled with something that washes everything else away. it is a power that makes me know that when I, I am strong.. 9mi without a rest, it scared me all right. but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it.. someone yelled as I started back that 24 min were gone.. I had done better than I thought, but now as I ran the sun seemed like a torch, the road stonier than I ever remembered it. I know that it was because I was afraid. (brilliant). please God, I said inside *he's got a bet going*.. but, as I ran, my arms &legs (physical body) went away from me.. my breath became a useless noise.. sweat flew from me &into my eyes, until I had to close them. (beautiful scene). please , I said again. ahead of me the road blurred &a brightness flashed.. my father was there ("dead"), around me, in me. the tiredness was gone, the road &the air helped me again -the beer made me feel good, almost like when I run. (hahaha WISE). when my father died, he took something that had made everything good for our family. after he was gone, we couldn't seem to talk, but instead, as if like dogs, we each took our sorrow to a different part of the house, not willing to share it.. shame of living the way we are.. but ofc I don't say it, because I know she wouldn't do it. that's the real shame. (whoa). she has let it happen.. I remember his address bc he joked about it. "just thinking of 13 turtles walking down the road." 13 turtle walk road.. now that I have decided.. he describes a pic of his parents &writes : "the camera has caught him w a look.. my mother, too, is caught w a faint smile." haha, nice ! #candid ! #TBT. -use your mind to beat the distance. distract yourself from the tiredness -his track coach I see myself in the last miles before the city, still strong &sure in my stride, still w the power. I try to bring it back, to feel it come into me now, but it won't. there is only the pain of going on. (LOL, YES). my body burns; my feet pound as I make them go. <333333
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blessed beyond all measure
if you can , keep your head when all about you are losing theirs &blaming.. trust yourself when all men doubt, but make allowance for their doubting too; if you can wait ¬ be tired of waiting, or being lied about, don't deal in lies, or being hated, don't give way to hating, &yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise. if you can dream -¬ make dreams your master; think -¬ make thoughts your aim; if you can meet w Triumph &Diaster, &treat those 2 imposters just the same; if you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap fro fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken. &stoop &build em up w worn -out tools. if you can make 1 heap of all your winnings &risk it on 1 turn of pitch &toss, &lose, &start again at your beginnings, &never breathe a word about your loss.. if you can talk w crowds &keep your virtue, or walk w Kings -nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. if all men count w you, but none too much.. Yours is the Earth &everything that's in it, &-which is more -you'll be a Man, my son!
-father's advice to son; Kipling 
"don't look at ME"
"in order2be able2think you have2risk being offensive."JBP
i am no bird; &no net ensnares me. -charlotte bronte
D.E.A.R. "never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -in nothing, great or small, large or petty -never give in except to convictions of honor &good sense." -w. churchill. 10/28/41
2013
i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning how to sail my ship. -louisa may alcott
nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. persistence &determination alone are omnipotent. -calvin coolidge i am not an extraordinary man, &i am quite ordinary. but God chose me for something quite extraordinary. -a. valladares receives '16 canterbury medal.
not failure, but low aim, is crime -james russell lowell
a genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus -mlk jr. (you are all leaders .#experts) it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust &sweat &blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again &again because there is no effort without error &shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worth cause; who at the best knows in the end the trump of high achievement, &who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold &timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -theodore roosevelt 
loving comes natural to me /
fave animal?
2009
we are what we repeatedly do. excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -aristotle
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -eleanor roosevelt 
89-johnstown-flood / fragile world
a dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.-gk c.
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