there are sharp limits on our understanding
the privacy of the mind is an impermeable barrier
depth of human emotion; lost ability to see world other than monochromatically.
singular view into the suicidal mind
vent 2 misery (wouldn't suggest journal when sick..:)) purge bad thots, not make em real..
death: as a man longs to see his house when he has spent years in captivity. (<###)
it's just that I could never become reconciled w life itself. God have mercy on my soul.
I hope you never have a sick piece of mind. (same !)
suicide notes in general have concrete, quality to them : more likely to use "love." amazing
most reveal little or no evidence of incoherent or delusional thinking. (yup, all normal..)
chronic distress from "living"
empty inside, to the point of numbness.
the voice in my head that's driving me crazy is louder than ever. can't beat it anymore.
21st- slept horribly. prayed in sorrow, &got up in agitation. 22- God forgive me, amen.
ofc I do not want to die, but it is suffering to live. ("live" grr) -ryuunosuke akutagawa
awareness of damage done by mental illness ..demonstrate greater insight ..
Randall Jarrell: "as if the fairies had stolen me away &left a log in my place"
*all these WRITERS went mad* /don't be in thots 2 much, y'all. DANGER ZONE/alone
"will you destroy all my papers?" -WOOLF
the true suicide type manufactures his own difficulties. (all made up in head. narcissist).
&the list of my enemies is very flattering to me. (haha my block list ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #EGOO).
same disasters &disappointments that attend us all.they belong2 internal, devious, world.
then, shame, grief &despair come. #PRIDE
they also have a strong reciprocal influence on the world &people around them.
6y old: "I am v hungry. I bite ppl &try to eat them up. I am a bad girl &I should die." WTH
M &F even kill themselves differently. w men more likely to experience trauma 24h b4 ..
setbacks or failure, either real or imagined,
most minds, when healthy, do not construe any event as devastating enough to warrant..
a diseased brain is made assailable by eventualities of life. (fallen, death abounds #sin).
less able to generate possible solutions; their perceived opinions narrow dangerously
their thinking is paralyzed. "if there is any eternal tormented worse than mine.."
feel like hell, trapped in black free fall. death > madness.. I feel everything /all is pain.
terrified. can only take so much of this punishment. no note, journals enuf-dawn r befano.
I can't think. all is muddled, the fog keeps rolling in. I simply want the world to leave me alone, but the world slips in through the cracks (#HEAL). I don't want to have to handle it.
feel even more vulnerable than usual. (SOOO IN THEIR HEAD /devil just talking to them).
I wanted 2drown myself in lake, but I managed to sleep through that impulse. (insane)
"better" is alien to me, I cannot get there. lost my angel /my mind. I am impossibly sick..
I don't have taste for life, because I am in between lives. (brilliant)
if you can , keep your head when all about you are losing theirs &blaming.. trust yourself when all men doubt, but make allowance for their doubting too; if you can wait ¬ be tired of waiting, or being lied about, don't deal in lies, or being hated, don't give way to hating, &yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise. if you can dream -¬ make dreams your master; think -¬ make thoughts your aim; if you can meet w Triumph &Diaster, &treat those 2 imposters just the same; if you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap fro fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken. &stoop &build em up w worn -out tools. if you can make 1 heap of all your winnings &risk it on 1 turn of pitch &toss, &lose, &start again at your beginnings, &never breathe a word about your loss.. if you can talk w crowds &keep your virtue, or walk w Kings -nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. if all men count w you, but none too much.. Yours is the Earth &everything that's in it, &-which is more -you'll be a Man, my son!
-father's advice to son; Kipling
"in order2be able2think you have2risk being offensive."JBP
i am no bird; &no net ensnares me. -charlotte bronte
"never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -in nothing, great or small, large or petty -never give in except to convictions of honor &good sense." -w. churchill. 10/28/41
i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning how to sail my ship. -louisa may alcott
nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. persistence &determination alone are omnipotent.
i am not an extraordinary man, &i am quite ordinary. but God chose me for something quite extraordinary. -a. valladares receives '16 canterbury medal.
not failure, but low aim, is crime -james russell lowell
a genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus -mlk jr. (you are all leaders .#experts)
it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust &sweat &blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again &again because there is no effort without error &shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worth cause; who at the best knows in the end the trump of high achievement, &who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold &timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -theodore roosevelt
we are what we repeatedly do. excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -aristotle
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -eleanor roosevelt
a dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.-gk c.